I recently found this article that I wrote in 2017 when I was hospitalized during a manic episode (my 1st). The irony is that I hadn’t been sleeping for more than a few hours each night, for weeks. I remember writing this in ~10 minutes and it has never been edited. What do you think of the style and content? Would you know it was written by an inpatient in a psych ward? Would you follow the tips?
Sleep is my best frenemy. And I know I’m not alone. Parents always have never-ending to-do lists and sleep is often the first thing that suffers. Over the years I’ve built up my own personal arsenal to attack insomnia when it’s raging out of control. If you find yourself lying awake counting sheep more often than not, I hope this helps you.
Sleep-deprived zombies know that the first rule of thumb is to pimp out your sleep crib. Just in case you’re too tired to remember the checklist, voila:
- Make sure the room is dark, dark, dark! I’m flabbergasted when I turn the lights off at a hotel only to discover the room is lit up brighter than an airplane cockpit. The first thing I like to do is unplug everything I don’t need (think alarm clocks, microwaves) or prop a book/sock/anything at all against those pesky harbingers of alertness. Do the same for EVERY other light, I’m talking LEDs on smoke detectors, cable boxes, certain light switches, and too many electrical gadgets to list. I’ve even been known to pack a roll of electrical tape in my carry-on because just one small piece and nothing’s getting through, not even side glow. Repeat after me: night lights are nobody’s friend.
- You want quiet but not too quiet. I fell in love with my son’s white noise machine in those first few co-sleeping weeks, and would never have looked back if it weren’t for the fact that my hubby hates it. Marriage is all about compromises… sigh. Luckily he nods off the second his head touches the pillow, so as soon as he’s out I press the power button to turn it on (you know, the one with the electrical-taped-over-LED light) and a soothing whoosh fills the room. Sometimes I’ll listen to a boring audiobook or sleep podcast when I’m really struggling. Sleep With Me is a good one; his voice drives me nuts and if it doesn’t work right away I get even more frustrated, but more often than not it’s lights out within minutes. Booya sleep deprivation.
- We keep hearing “Don’t eat after eight o’clock,” or something similar, but everybody’s different and if you go to sleep hungry your growling stomach will definitely keep you up. A small pre-bedtime snack will help as long as it’s healthy. My go-to is plain Greek yoghurt with nuts (Brazil and almond), seeds (pumpkin and sunflower), frozen berries (chopped up for faster defrosting), and cinnamon. I eat it almost every night.
- Routine, routine, routine! Just like kids, our bodies crave sleep schedules. Do your best to go to sleep around the same time every night, at least seven hours before you plan to wake up, even when you’re exhausted and just want to crash with the kids. And try not to nap unless you absolutely have to; even one will hurt the routine but we all know that sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
- Read! Do you know WHY it’s so easy to crash with the kids but so hard to fall asleep a few hours later? Because of the calming ritual of a soothing bath, dimmed lights, and cuddly storytime. Sounds a lot better than pre-bedtime scrolling through Facebook posts while binge-watching a show you don’t even really like, doesn’t it? Screens go to bed at least one hour before you do – preferably more. Pick up an actual book, not a kindle or anything app-related, and let it lull you into a state of relaxed bliss. Yup, I know you knew that, it’s hard for me to switch off too.
- Prep your body so it knows that it’s time to shut down. Before you dive under the covers fully awake and then wonder why you’re still not tired five chapters later, develop your own personal calming ritual. Mine is chilling to a song or three (Sarah McLachlan still fits the bill perfectly) while I floss and brush, some gentle stretches, meditating for ten minutes, and reflecting on my day before writing in my gratitude journal. Sure, this takes more time than I would like at the end of the day but the quality of my sleep is so. much. better. than on the nights I skip it. Definitely beats trying to keep my eyes open to watch Netflix and then crashing straight into bed too tired to even brush my teeth. Gross!
So your sleep environment’s perfect and you still can’t sleep, what gives?
Stress! Our busy lives cause so much stress and then the pressure to fall asleep when we’re exhausted adds even more stress! Add an upcoming wedding/baby/move/career change and that curveball can knock you out. The best stress busters are a healthy diet (google LCHF), less caffeine and more water (cut back gradually if skipping that cup of joe gives you a headache), regular exercise (even walking the dog counts as long as it’s not just to the curb), and relaxation techniques (meditation, massages, sex, and anything that make you feel good unless it’s bad for you; one glass of wine is okay but don’t overdo it, and definitely no smoking. You’re lying to yourself if you think they help calm your nerves but you already knew that. Duh.)
Sometimes it might happen in phases – I personally know that my menstrual cycle coincides with periods of intense insomnia followed by weeks when I can easily drift off at the drop of a sleeping cap – and you might just be able to ride it out. I’ve learned to embrace it and do something productive otherwise I’m just tossing and turning all night. But there are other times when it’s more than just a cycle of hormone related creative excitement and I need to step up my game.
What happens if you’ve checked everything off the list and STILL can’t fall asleep? It’s time to see a pro. There could be a medical condition that’s wreaking havoc on more than just your REM cycles and failing that, another explanation that needs further investigation. Tweak your sleep environment, routine, and those daily habits that affect your sleep and give yourself two weeks to adapt, but if you ride it out and are still battling insomnia with no remedy in sight, book an appointment with your doctor ASAP. Get the help you need to get the sleep you need. If you’re hallucinating, falling asleep at the wheel, or crying/angry/overreacting all the time, talk to your spouse/sister/anyone at all and book an urgent appointment right away. There’s a reason sleep deprivation is a form of torture: it can eff you up. Don’t wait until it’s too late: help is there if you simply ask.
© Charise Jewell, 2025
